He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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