he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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