I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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