was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
