I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
