i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
