Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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