Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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