Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
