I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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