She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
