dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize