There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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