he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I am available for nakedness
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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