3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
