just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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