There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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