We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
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