If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
