I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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