butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
