As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
