Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
