Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
