I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
