Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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