If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
