spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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