It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
