is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
