Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
