Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
