I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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