well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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