i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
