last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Randomize
