We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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