i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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