literally had 100 drinks last night.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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