He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
