im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
