put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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