did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
