end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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