I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
