Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize