How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
