so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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