What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize