Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
