dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
