just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
