She just used a chaser for red wine.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
