My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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