what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i would punch a child for taco bell
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
