I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
