It's like God shit irony all over that family
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
