dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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