I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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