Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize