youre lurking in front of me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
