PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
