Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
