...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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