No stitches, just platelets and will power
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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