is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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