Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
