i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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