I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Small penises have feelings too.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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