physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
