I love black thongs
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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