Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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