Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize