it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize