My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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