So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
At least life still wants to fuck me.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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