that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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