Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
