she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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