her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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